The Choice
by angel-721
Summary: CH 6 HERE!Lily Evans never imagined that she would be falling for James Potter. But a lot can change in their seventh year. Unfortunately,something or someone stands in their way. and Lily has to make the most important choice of her life. LJ
1. PROLOGUE

**The Choice: **James. Snape. How can Lily ever choose? Deep down, she knows the answer but she is reluctant to accept it. Either way, someone will get hurt. And outside of Hogwarts, a war is raging. L/J eventually.

Disclaimer: I own none of these lovely characters! They all belong to the talented J.K Rowling!

**A/N: This story is purely canon so most of you will already know the ending but let's have some fun while we get there! And if any of you have read my other L/J fic, Unexpected, just know that this is completely different. It's a little darker and has a whole lot more drama.**

**And I haven't abandoned Unexpected! I'll be updating both of these fics at the same time. **

**Enjoy! And tell me what you think.**

**Ch.1**

**Prologue**

_She stood by a window in the Gryffindor Tower, watching the last few rays of sun streaming down the hills. It was all over. Seven years of magical bliss; this was the end. She sighed and looked back at her fellow classmates, eagerly talking about their futures, and doing some last-minute packing. She will have to join them soon, but not now. Now was the time to think…about her choice._

_She felt as if her choice was already made for her ever since her first day at Hogwarts. Fate had already planned her path, and no matter how much she might have struggled throughout her years to deny that path, it eventually caught up to her at the end. And this…was the end. _

_No, she already knew her choice. And though it pained her, she knew it was the right one. But right…does not mean easy. _

_It's not as if she wasn't happy with her choice. She knew it would bring her much joy the years to come. _

_What pained her was the suffering that would come. _

She didn't want to choose.

_But they forced her._

She was happy with not choosing.

_But she had no choice._

Her last year was supposed to be peaceful. It was supposed to be the best year ever.

_But she never saw it coming._

Why? She wondered to herself. What was the cause for all that drama?

_Because he changed._

**A/N: Sorry about the shortness. But this was just an introduction, a teaser. I wanted to see if people like this story.**

**So give me feedback!**

**And don't worry, if you guys like it. I'll post up the next chapter. I've already written it!**

**REVIEW!**

**XOXO**

**Cynthia**


	2. the beginning of the end

**Ch.2**

**The Beginning of the End**

_Let's rearrange _

_  
I wish you were a stranger _

_I could disengage _

_  
Say that we agree_

_And then never change _

_  
Soften a bit until _

_We all just get along _

_  
But that's disregard _

_  
Find another friend_

_And you discard_

-The Fray: Over My Head (Cable Car)

**Prologue**

_She stood by a window in the Gryffindor Tower, watching the last few rays of sun streaming down the hills. It was all over. Seven years of magical bliss; this was the end. She sighed and looked back at her fellow classmates, eagerly talking about their futures, and doing some last-minute packing. She will have to join them soon, but not now. Now was the time to think…about her choice._

_She felt as if her choice was already made for her ever since her first day at Hogwarts. Fate had already planned her path, and no matter how much she might have struggled throughout her years to deny that path, it eventually caught up to her at the end. And this…was the end. _

_No, she already knew her choice. And though it pained her, she knew it was the right one. But right…does not mean easy. _

_It's not as if she wasn't happy with her choice. She knew it would bring her much joy the years to come. _

_What pained her was the suffering that would come. _

She didn't want to choose.

_But they forced her._

She was happy with not choosing.

_But she had no choice._

Her last year was supposed to be peaceful. It was supposed to be the best year ever.

_But she never saw it coming._

Why? She wondered to herself. What was the cause for all that drama?

_Because he changed._

The Hogwarts Express whistled and steam billowed out, signaling that it was time to leave.

"Lily!" the petite lady holding a small tabby called out frantically. "You forgot Sparkles!"

A young woman with dark auburn hair and deep green eyes appeared in the window. "Sparkles!" She reached out and grabbed the cat, then blew a kiss to the lady. "Thanks so much, mum! I'll see you at Christmas!"

"Lily, dear, don't forget to write!" Mrs. Evans reminded her daughter.

"Of course!" Lily reassured her. "I'll borrow Alice's owl. Give daddy my love!"

Lily waved to her mom. When she vanished from sight, Lily sat back in her seat-and then leapt right up.

"Merlin's pants!" Lily exclaimed in shock, looking down at the rumpled owl she almost sat on.

"Oh my," a concerned voice said in the doorway. Alice Kinkle hurried into the compartment and rescued her poor owl.

"Alice, I'm so-" Lily tried to apologize.

"Don't worry about it," Alice smiled. "Seeing how I always step on little Sparkle's tail."

"True…" Lily smiled as well. "Come sit!" she patted the seat across form her.

Alice sighed wistfully, looking out the window. "It's our last year."

"Yeah," Lily stroked Sparkles. "And it will be the best!"

"You think?" Alice asked, turning back to Lily.

"Definitely!" Lily assured her. "We're seventh-years. How awesome it that?"

"Well, we you put it that way," Alice grinned. "How was your summer?"

"It was great to see mum and dad again, but Tuney…" Lily grimaced and was about to continue when Alice interrupted her.

"Oh!" She exclaimed, pointing to Lily's robes. "Is that-?"

Lily beamed at her.

"Oh it is!" Alice clapped her hands together. "I knew it! Lils, I'm so proud of you!"

Lily fondly patted her Head Girl badge. "It came with my Hogwarts letter. Mum and dad were so please. But Tuney didn't say anything about it. "Lily wrinkled her nose. "Oh well."

"Ignore your sister," Alice advised her. "So, who do you think is Head Boy?"

"Oh it would love it if it was another Gryffindor!" Lily replied. "But I bet it's that Hufflepuff, Chandler Macmillan, he seems like head Boy material."

"Well, no matter who it is, you'll find out soon at the meeting!"

Lily jumped up. "Speaking of which, I completely forgot! I'll see you later."

Alice smiled to herself when Lily left. Oh, she already knew who the Head Boy was. Frank told her two weeks ago. It would be fun to see Lily's reaction.

"So sorry I'm late! It completely slipped my mind!" Lily gasped for air and she entered the compartment. The prefects said nothing but looked apprehensive as they stared from Lily to the Head Boy.

"Well, what do you know? The new Head girl is late. Tsk, tsk," James Potter grinned at her.

"Potter!" Lily's eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here? This is for Heads and prefects only! And seeing how you are neither…" Lily said, rather nastily.

James just kept grinning as he tapped his Head Boy badge with his wand.

Lily frowned. "Who did you steal that from?"

"What are you talking about? It's mine!" the grin slipped off James's face as he replied, confused.

Lily snorted. "Seriously, did you take that away from Remus?"

James stared at her blankly.

"Ohhhh…" She bit her lip. "…Peter?"

James raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," Lily shook her head. "He's a nice guy but…" a look of horror crossed her face. "It's not…Black…is….it?" her voiced trailed off.

James sighed in exasperation and Lily breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well who is it then?" Lily was starting to get annoyed.

"Me." He said simply.

Lily's voice shook. "b-but, that's not… p-possible…" She stammered out, her heart pounding.

James looked at her amusedly, "Use your words, my dear." 

"So you're the new Head Boy?" Lily said, quite calmly.

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"As positive as Padfoot's girlfriend's pregnancy test."

"No doubt?"

"Isn't that a Muggle band?"

"You sure?"

"As sure as your hair's red."

Lily shut her mouth as her face began to match her hair. The prefects looked at each other nervously and one even ran out of the room. Smart guy.

James pulled out a pair of earplugs and popped them in his ears, without Lily noticing, then leaned back in his seat.

Then she blew.

Alice turned a page in her copy of _Witch Weekly_. She was just about to read an article called "How to Score with Wizards" when she heard an almost inhuman screech followed by loud rumblings that would only be Lily's anger.

She smiled to herself. _Ah, she found out. _ Then she continued reading as though nothing happened.

The other inhabitants of the Hogwarts Express heard it as well. They, like Alice, had gotten so used to it (Except for the first-years, they were new to it) and continued doing whatever they had been dong.

Lily eventually stormed out of the Prefects Compartment without even assigning jobs to the new prefects with James following her. The prefects breathed a sigh of relief when they left and the ones that had been crying eventually calmed down.

Lily kept walking, fully aware of James following her every move.

When she felt a tiny tap on her shoulder, she twirled around and snarled, "WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU GIT?"

The first-year, whom she had mistaken for Potter, trembled at the sight of the raging woman and promptly burst into tears.

"I-I, just wanted to know where the loo was," the little boy mumbled through his tears.

Lily felt ashamed of herself. "Aw, sweetie. I thought you were someone else. I'm terribly sorry. The loo's off to the right, over there. Here. Have a Chocolate Frog." She handed over the sweet and the first-year took it gratefully before running off.

Lily leaned back against a wall and twirled her auburn hair absent-mindly. She didn't know how much longer she could stand Potter.

She closed her eyes but opened them again when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

Lily looked up, and then frowned.

"Severus." She said flatly. "I thought I told you never to talk to me again."

He looked down, a sad expression on his lined face.

"I need to talk to you."

Lily's face softened as she looked at the forlorn figure. "Alright. Let's go find an empty compartment."

She walked off and Snape followed her, and unmistakable expression of desire on his face.


	3. Forgive and forget?

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and I never will. If I did, I wouldn't be posting this on fanfiction; I'd be actually publishing this into a book!

**Ch.3**

**Forgive and Forget?**

_Words fall out of my mouth  
_

_And I can't seem to trace what I'm saying  
_

_Everybody wants your time  
_

_I'm just dreaming out loud,  
_

_I can't have you for mine and I know it  
_

_I just wanna watch you shine._

**Saving Jane: Come Down to Me**

Lily slid the compartment door closed and plopped down on the seat. She folded her arm and stared suspiciously at Snape.

"Well?" she said, trying to keep all emotion from her voice. "Why are you talking to me after I specifically told you not to?" Lily narrowed her eyes. "If you're here to warn me about Potter again…"

"No, it's not that," Snape replied quickly.

"What is it then?" Lily glanced down at her watch. "Alice is expecting me back in our compartment and I have patrolling duties."

"I-I want to apologize for everything that has happened," Snape began nervously. "I was a total git and you were right about everything, including my …friends. We're…not friends anymore."

Lily's face softened a bit when he apologized but she did not uncross her arms.

"Will you forgive me?" he asked, his voice filled with uncertainty.

Lily paused, her face suspicious. "Why are you apologizing now? It's been almost a year since…the incident," her voice trailed off.

Snape scratched his head thoughtfully. "It's our last year," he replied finally, "and I want to start over."

He looked questionably at Lily but her face remained stony. "Look I don't expect us to best friends again, but I do wish you wouldn't hate me so," Snape told her quietly.

"I don't hate you," Lily said stiffly, though her expression proved otherwise. She sighed loudly. "You know I couldn't possibly hate you. We've known each other since forever."

"So, do you forgive me?" Snape asked, his voice filled with hope.

Lily looked out the window while Snape's eyes darted around the room anxiously.

"Okay yeah, I guess I forgive you," Lily replied at last, a tiny smile creeping on her face. Snape sighed in relief.

"But that doesn't mean I will forget everything that happened between us. You can't expect me to act like nothing happened," Lily stated. Snape opened his mouth, but Lily cut him off, "and don't you dare ask me if we can start over as friends." Snape closed his mouth, looking slightly disappointed.

"Let's just act normal," Lily decided. "We will never be best friends again but we don't have to avoid each other."

Snape agreed solemnly.

"EVANS! Wait…I mean LILY!" A voice called from outside the compartment. Lily rolled her eyes and opened the door only to find James staring at her, outside.

"Evans!" James said in surprise then corrected himself. "I meant, Lily."

Lily frowned. "Why are you calling me 'Lily', Potter?"

"Lily Potter, I like that!" James grinned at her but stopped at her deadly glare. He shrugged and answered her question. "Remus thought it might be more polite to call you by your first name."

He peered around her, into the compartment. "Is that Snape in there with you?" James said incredulously. "What's Snivellus doing with you? I thought you hated him."

"Well, that's between Lils and me," Snape drawled out as he exited the compartment. Lily frowned at the casual use of her nickname but said nothing. James looked livid.

"You stay away from her!" James snarled.

"What if I don't?" he replied lazily, clearly relishing in James's fury.

"Why you insolent-!" James pointed his wand at Snape's throat.

"POTTER!" Lily screamed as she smacked him on his head. "Don't you dare threaten him!" James lowered his wand, a sheepish expression on his face. "And you!" Lily turned on Snape. "Stop picking fights!" Lily gave both of them a glowering look and stormed off, fuming. "Bloody gits…they will never change," she muttered under her breath.

"Hey, hey! EVANS! WAIT UP!" James ran after her, leaving a very annoyed Snape in his wake. He caught up to her and started wheezing. "Listen…I….need…to talk to…" He took a deep breath, "…you."

"The hell you are," Lily ignored his protests and continued her search for Alice. James, seeing that she was about to walk away, grabbed her arm. "Let go!" She struggled but she was no match against James. "What do you want?" she asked him, thoroughly irked.

"Your forgiveness," he answered simply while Lily gaped at him.

"Why is it that everyone wants that from me?" she wondered out loud while James looked confused. "And no, Potter, I will never forgive you. Now let go of me."

"Not unless you say you forgive me!" James held on tight.

"Now that's not the most clever strategy, is it now Prongs?" Sirius smirked from behind them. "If you want Evans to forgive you, I highly recommend that you don't abuse her."

"I'm not abusing her," James said darkly, glaring at his best mate. Lily's face was slowly turning red and her arm (which James' had a tight grip on) was beginning to bruise.

"Huh, of course you aren't," Sirius observed dryly, "and that's why Evan's arm looks like a Picasso painting." James dropped Lily's arm quickly and saw, to his evident horror, that Sirius was right. Lily's arm was a mixture of green, purple, and blue. Lily swore under her breathe and immediately healed it with a flick of her wand. She slowly turned her furious gaze to James.

James back away slowly, with his hands up in the air. "I'm sorry, Evans. Please don't hurt me…" he pleaded in a whiny voice. Sirius rolled his eyes at his friend's childish fear.

"Prongs. Prongs. Oi, PRONGS!" Sirius bellowed, causing a few nearby second-years to jump in fear. "Your pleading is ruining the Marauder's image."

"I can't help it! Evans is so scary!" James protested.

"That's what every girl wants to hear," Lily commented sarcastically, as she stuffed her wand back into her robes, "and don't worry. I'm not going to do anything to you. Yet." She muttered to herself. James sighed in relief and Sirius groaned at his behavior.

"Brilliant! Then let's get back to what we were talking about before," James grinned. "Your forgiveness."

Lily turned back and stared at him, surprised. "I thought we already talked about this," she replied.

"But I'm serious," James said slowly. "I know I've annoyed you for several years," Lily snorted at this, "but I really want things to be different this year. I mean, I don't hex people that much anymore…and I don't_ think_ I'm that arrogant anymore…" Sirius chortled. James told him to shut up. "Do you think…we can start over, Lily?" he said her name pointedly.

Lily thought about what he had said. She supposed that most of what he said was true…and it would be rather nice to have a fresh start seeing how this_ is_ the last year. She looked at him and her emerald eyes met his deep hazel ones. Something in his eyes had changed, she was sure of it. They no longer had that childish glint; instead there was something serious there. Sirius cleared his throat loudly. Lily dropped her gaze and flushed. What was wrong with her? She never blushed…unless she was angry.

Lily felt very uncomfortable at James's intent staring, and she too, cleared her throat.

"O-okay," she tried to keep her voice steady. "Fine. I forgive you. I-I'm going to …go." She hurried off, trying to hide her flaming cheeks.

James looked bewildered. "Did Evens just-blush?" He wondered while Sirius smirked.

Alice glanced up as Lily walked in.

"What happened to you?" Alice asked, noticing that her friend looked very flustered.

"Oh, what?" Lily said, startled. She ignored Alice's look of curiosity and sank back into her seat. "This year is going to be so different…"

**A/N: Well there you have it! The lovely third chapter! I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review when you're done reading. Reviews always brighten my day!**

**XOXO**

**Cynthia**


	4. love is in the air

**Ch.4**

**Love is in the Air**

_Desperate for changing, starving for truth_

_I'm closer to where I started _

_Chasing after you_

_I'm falling even more in love with you_

_Letting go of all I've held on to_

_I'm standing here till you make me move_

_Hanging by a moment here with you_

Lifehouse: Hanging by a moment here with you

At breakfast, Lily squirmed in her seat uncomfortably as she tried to ignore James's intense stare. The other students in the Great Hall were chatting amongst themselves. Even James's friends were talking. He seemed to be the only silent one there.

"Honestly, you think he would have given up by now," Lily complained to Alice, who was staring at her spoon. Lily paused and looked at her. "Alice? Are you even listening to me?"

"Yeah of course," Alice remarked dryly still focused on her spoon. "You're complaining about Potter again; big surprise." She frowned at her spoon. "Is it me or did we get new spoons this year? I could have sworn that the old ones didn't have crystals on the handle…" Alice glanced up and noticed Lily's annoyed expression. She smiled faintly. "Maybe you should give him a chance."

"Absolutely not!" Lily said loudly, alarming several third-years near them. To her dismay, James was grinning at her. She felt her cheeks turn pink and quickly looked down at her plate. "I will not that that big-headed, bullying prat a chance."

"I think he's changed," Alice said thoughtfully. "Haven't you noticed? It's been a week since we got back and James hasn't hexed anyone or landed himself a detention. It's a bit weird, actually. James without a detention is like…"

"I know what you mean," Sirius appeared out of nowhere and wedged himself between Alice and Lily. "Prongs has been so…moody lately. He hasn't been interested in any of our pranks. I mean, bloody hell, he doesn't even talk that much. All he does is stare at you." Saying this, he winked at Lily who blushed vividly. Clearing her throat loudly, Lily covered up by taking a sip of her pumpkin juice.

"I think he's in love," Sirius said conversationally.

Lily choked and began coughing. "Pardon?" she managed to sputter out while Alice and Sirius shot her amused looks.

"Yup," Sirius said, rather cheerfully. "Congratulations Evans, you're now officially the love of Prong's life." He stood up suddenly. "Well, class is going to start in a few minutes. So if you'll excuse me ladies…" Sirius rose from the table and went to go talk to James, who had a curious expression on his face.

Sirius and James began whispering furiously. After Sirius said something, and Lily had a shrewd idea what, James's jaw dropped open and punched Sirius in the arm. Sirius looked affronted and scowled, but James met Lily's gaze nervously, causing her to drop her fork.

Cursing under her breath, Lily emerged from underneath the table, her face flaming.

Beside her, Alice-who had been watching the whole thing- shook with silent mirth. Lily glowered at her but Alice continued laughing. With an offended huff, Lily grabbed her bag and stormed off to class.

"Stupid Alice, some friend she is," Lily muttered under her breath. She was so intent on cursing her life that she didn't notice a tap on her shoulder.

"EVANS!" a voice bellowed in her ear and Lily dropped her bag in surprise. Whirling around, she found herself looking into the amused hazel eyes of James.

"Potter, I should have known," Lily said as he picked up her bag and handed it to her. "Thanks," she said grudgingly.

"Listen, about what Padfoot mentioned earlier," James said, looking slightly embarrassed. "Erm…" He paused, clearly at a loss for words.

"Don't about it," Lily assured him. She felt her cheeks turning red again. "I know Sirius was only kidding. Well see you in class I guess." She rushed off leaving a very confused James in her wake.

"He wasn't kidding…" James said quietly, even though Lily had left, "and we have the same classes…"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lily was the first one to get to Advanced History of Magic that morning. She sat silently in her seat, waiting for Alice to show up. After a couple of minutes, Alice finally showed up. She spotted Lily and immediately rushed over.

"Lily!" Alice greeted her. "You ran out of the Great Hall so fast, I didn't even notice you were gone!"

"Well, maybe that was because you were so busy laughing," Lily said darkly. She looked around the classroom and saw James and Remus talking quietly a couple of desks away from her.

"Oh c'mon, lighten up! You have to admit that was pretty funny," Alice poked Lily, but Lily didn't smile. "Even though it's true," Alice said as an afterthought.

"It's not true!" Lily denied as she watched James throw a wad of parchment at Remus's head. James turned around and caught her eye. Lily quickly looked away. "Potter's not capable of _love_."

"He has been chasing you for six years now," Alice pointed out. "Anyways, I think it's rather romantic."

Lily scoffed but didn't have a chance to retort since Professor Binns floated into the classroom and began lecturing them on the Troll War of 978. Alice groaned at the sight of the ghostly professor and reluctantly got out her notebook. Lily, on the other hand, hadn't even picked up her quill. She absentmindly gazed at the back of James's head. It was odd how she didn't find him _as_ annoying as last year. Potter hadn't even asked her out yet, and it had been a week. When he reached up to ruffle his hair, Lily wasn't bothered by it. In fact, she thought it was a little cute: How he played with his hair like a child. _Wait, did I just call Potter "cute"? _Lily's eyes widened and she shook her head to clear it of all "disturbing" thoughts.

"Lily!" Alice whispered urgently and pointed to her blank piece of paper. "Professor Binns just said this might come up on N.E.W.T.S.!"

"Huh?" Lily broke out of her trance.

"Why aren't you paying attention?" Alice asked curiously. Then her eyes found James and a weird look appeared on her face that Lily didn't like at all. "I see…" Alice smiled knowingly at Lily, "you were too busying staring at James."

"No! I wasn't! I mean, I was….but not in the way you were thinking…" Lily protested weakly. It was no use. Alice still had that knowing smile on her face.

"Sure," Alice agreed with her but she was still smiling. "Well, maybe you can take a break from staring at James and take some notes."

Lily picked up her quill and began scribbling down notes, her cheeks pink.

When class was over, Lily lingered behind to ask Professor Binns about the information she missed. Alice waited patiently. As soon as Lily was done, Alice began talking.

"What was that all about?" Alice asked while Lily packed up her bags.

"What are you talking about?" Lily replied, her expression closed.

"You know, the whole staring at Potter thing," Alice pressed her, not noticing that their conversation was no longer private.

"Do my ears deceive me?" Remus said suddenly behind them. "I thought you just said that Lily was staring at Potter."

Lily yelped and whirled around. Alice snickered softly.

"No! That's not what it sounds like!" she said frantically, looking around for any sigh of James. "Don't tell James, please."

"Don't tell me what?" James asked curiously as he appeared. He looked around in confusion at everyone. Alice was laughing hard about something. Remus looked amused. Lily-she seemed to be avoiding his glare. That's odd. Normally she just glares him with hatred.

"Nothing! Nothing at all," Lily said in a squeaky voice and grabbed Alice by the arm. "C'mon Alice, let's go! The bell already rang!" Saying this, she practically ran out of the room with Alice behind her.

"We don't have a bell," James said to Remus. Remus shrugged.

Things were getting very weird.

Lily brushed her bangs out of her eyes and stirred her bubbling potion. They were making a Calming Draught today. Lily thought it should be simple. But try as she may, she couldn't get her potion to thicken. Alice wasn't taking this class so she couldn't help her. She glanced at her the blonde girl next to her. Her name was Kay Aston. She was a Ravenclaw and was known for her queerness. Lily thought she was nice and was good friends with her.

"Kay?" Lily asked.

"Mm?"

"How's your Calming Draught coming along?"

"Not so good," Kay smiled ruefully at her thick, gooey, mud like substance in her pewter cauldron.

"At least you got yours to thicken," Lily frowned at her watery potion.

"Don't worry about it. It will be fine. If you leave it alone, it will straighten itself out. Everything will work out if you give it time," Kay replied vaguely as she smiled.

"Are you talking about the potion?" Lily asked, a little confused.

"No, I'm talking about life," Kay said dreamily.

"Oh…thanks…" Kay wasn't much help, but it was to be expected. Kay seemed to live in a different world than the rest of them. Lily sometimes wished she was more like Kay. She wanted to live life like nothing mattered and just enjoy it.

But first she had to thicken her Calming Draught.

"Need help?"

Lily looked up and smiled. "Sev," she said in relief, "help sounds great right now." She pointed sheepishly to her Draught. "It's still very thin. I don't know how to thicken it."

Snape looked sympathetically at her potion. "Some leech juice ought to help."

Lily squinted at the direction on the board. "But it doesn't say anything about leech juice up there," she said bewildered.

"Trust me," Snape handed her a small glass vial of lavender liquid. "Use mine."

Lily took it doubtfully and poured it into her potion, then stirred it. The change was immediate.

"It worked!" Lily beamed at Snape.

"Of course it did," Snape replied smugly.

Lily was so happy that she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. Snape looked surprised but pleased.

She let go after a few seconds and turned back to her potion. "It's nearly done now!" she said happily then looked back at Snape. "Honestly Sev, you just saved my life there."

Snape shrugged as if to say it was nothing and went back to his desk.

A couple seats away, James Potter glared at Snape with obvious hatred. He had been watching them for the last few minutes and he didn't like what he saw.

**A/N: Ah Snape. I had to put some action between Snape and Lily to match the plot. Don't worry. Lily will have some very 'special' moments with James later on.**

**But you won't get to read it unless you REVIEW. Yes I am that evil. It's one of the benefits of being a fanfiction author ;)**

**XOXO**

**Cynthia**


	5. tragic misunderstandings

**Ch.5**

**Tragic Misunderstandings**

_I believe the world is burning to the ground_

_Well, I guess we're gonna find out_

_Let's see how far we've come_

_Let's see how far we've come_

How Far We've Come: Matchbox 20

-------LxJ-------

Lily Evans yawned and rubbed her eyes as the first rays of sunlight burst through her dormitory window. She slowly got up and attempted to arrange her sheets into a neat pile but eventually gave up, thinking that the house-elves will help her later on. Walking over to the window that overlooked the grounds, Lily grabbed a brush and ran it through her tangled auburn hair. Humming a little tune, she was heading towards the bathroom, when an excited figure appeared in the doorway.

"Why are you up so early?" Lily said, frowning slightly.

Alice ignored the question. Apparently, she had other things on her mind. "I was just downstairs and guess what?" Alice said bubbly.

"What?" Lily asked, a bit warily. She never did like surprises.

"First Hogsmeade weekend of the year, October first," Alice beamed.

"But that's-"

"Three days away, I know!" Alice finished, the happiness on her face draining a little.

"That's odd," Lily mused. "The announcements normally go up at least a week ahead."

"Never mind that!" Alice replied hastily. "The question is, what are you going to say?"

"What do you mean?" Lily said in a nonchalant voice, even though she knew that Alice saw right through it.

Alice shot Lily a look. "Honestly, Lily, if you still don't know what I'm talking about after all these years…I'm beginning to wonder if you really deserve to be in all those Advanced classes," she said slyly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lily still pretended to be dim-witted. She simply refused to acknowledge the fact that…well…_you-know_.

Alice huffed. "Well, _fine_. Be that way, but you can't keep dancing around the topic forever," Saying this, Alice turned away from Lily and walked over to her own bed and drew the velvet hanging around it.

Lily still didn't reply. Instead, she just stood there, silently, wishing that maybe…maybe this year would be different.

She would regret that wish later on.

-------LxJ-------

When Lily got dressed and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast half an hour later, she found Alice sitting by herself, near the end of the Gryffindor table. Lily cautiously took a seat next to her, hoping her friend wasn't too pissed off at her.

"Hey Als," Lily said carefully as she poured herself a glass of pumpkin juice.

Alice looked at Lily, and for a minute it seemed like she was going to scream at her. But Alice just smiled and helped herself to a bagel. "Morning," she said cheerfully.

Lily let out the breath she had been holding. "Anything new with you?" she replied. A tawny owl tapped her on the shoulder, holding a newspaper in its beak. Lily paid the owl and opened up the paper.

"You mean did something life-altering happen in the last thirty minutes?" Alice remarked, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "You know what? Surprisingly no… funny isn't it?"

Lily scowled. "Oh very funny," she commented, taking a sip of her juice.

"So what are you going to do about Potter?" Alice asked innocently.

Lily choked and spluttered out a bit of the juice while Alice wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Excuse me?" Lily managed to say, after she dabbed her mouth with a linen napkin.

"Oh you know perfectly well what I mean," Alice said, looking Lily straight in the eye. "You can't squirm your way out of this one, Lils…"

Perhaps hoping to 'squirm her way out', Lily said nothing. Instead she compensated by cramming as much food into her mouth as possible. Alice watched in amusement as Lily shoved a large spoonful of scrambled eggs along with some slices of toast, and washed it down with large gulps of her juice.

"Can't talk…mouth full…" Lily said, her voice muffled by the large section of kippers she was sticking in her mouth.

Alice raised an eyebrow. "Stop that. You're going to me sick. And who's going to have to hold your hair back when you start throwing up in the loo?" she said simply.

Lily swallowed. "I do feel a bit queasy…" she said uncertainly, patting her not-so-flat tummy. "Oh alright…I'll answer your god-darn question."

Alice smiled. "That's the spirit!" she said cheerfully. "So…what are you going to say?" she repeated.

"I dunno…maybe he won't ask me?" Lily said hopefully.

"Please. He's been asking you out for six years now, do you honestly think-"

Alice was cut off by Lily. "Darn it!" she frowned. "So much for my optimism."

"You're going to say no right?" Alice pressed the issue, thinking it was better to ask Lily directly.

Lily gulped and looked nervous. "Um…what was that again?" she said meekly, fidgeting with her napkin, attempting to do some origami with it.

Alice gasped. "Oh my Merlin, you aren't planning on saying yes?" she asked bewildered.

Lily said nothing, intent on her napkin folding, which to her dismay-resembled more of a duck than a rose.

"Lily Marie Evans, are you actually going to say yes?" Alice asked, her voice getting louder. Lily saw that James, a few seats away, had looked over at them interestedly.

"Shhh!" she hushed Alice hastily. "Don't be so loud! And I didn't say anything!"

"Right, but your expression gave it away…oh you are going to make Potter a very happy wizard!" Alice added teasingly.

Lily sat in a huffy silence, refusing to deny or confirm anything Alice said.

-------LxJ-------

After all that had happened that morning, Lily was thankful that she didn't have to face Potter until Advanced Charms this afternoon. Meanwhile, she had a Potter-free Potions class to look forward to. Alas! She forgot that while Potions was Potter-free, it turned out not to be Snape-free…

"Lily!"

Lily was cleaning up her work table and rinsing out her cauldron with her wand when she heard a familiar voice call out her name. Turning around, she caught sight of a very nervous-looking Snape.

"Sev," she answered, smiling a little. "How are you? We didn't get a chance to talk during class today."

"I'm fine, thanks," Snape replied hurriedly. He seemed anxious to get something out but he was silent.

"Something wrong?" Lily asked curiously, when she noticed his silence. Thinking that perhaps he needed to gather his thoughts, Lily chose to turn back to her cauldron-cleaning.

"Hogsmeadthisweekend," Snape blurted out.

Lily looked up startled. "Hogsmeade?" she said slowly, after deciphering his words. Why on earth would Sev be talking to her about Hogsmeade? It's not as if he ever goes there anyways.

"Yes…" Snape said, as a drop of sweat appeared in his brow. "I was wondering…if maybe you wanted to go with me?" he finished, a glint of hope in his eyes.

Lily stared at him blankly, clearly at a loss for words. Was he being serious?

"erm…" she began awkwardly. How can she put this nicely? "I would love to Sev…"

Snape broke out into a huge smile. "That's wonderful!"

"but I can't…I'm…um…busy that afternoon…big Charms exam on Monday," Lily wildly invented an excuse as she finished her sentence.

Snape's face fell. "It's alright," he said, forcing a smile. "Really."

"I really am sorry…" Lily said, trying to make him feel better.

"Don't worry about it," with that he walked quickly away from, leaving a very uncomfortable Lily in his wake.

Lily soon left Potions class as well, after she had finished packing. As she walk through the door and out into the corridors, she though she saw a glimpse of messy black hair among the masses of students but then shook her head. Probably just her imagination. But the funny thing was…she hadn't seen Potter all day. Lily was sure that he saw the Hogsmeade announcement…so why hasn't he asked her yet?

-------LxJ-------

James Potter was waiting anxiously outside the Potions classroom. He was hoping to surprise Lily and maybe ask her out for Hogsmeade. Tapping his foot impatiently, he scanned the masses of students leaving the classroom, looking for a glimpse of red. Seeing none, he decided to move closer to the door when his ears perked up at the sound of Lily's name.

"_Lily!" _

Snape. He thought darkly and then moved closer to catch all of their conversation.

"_Something wrong?"_

James straightened at Lily's voice.

"_Hogsmeadthisweekend,"_

"_Hogsmeade?"_

"_I was wondering…if maybe you wanted to go with me?"_

James, who had been quietly moving towards the direction of their voices, froze. All of a sudden, several thoughts raced their way through his mind; most of them involving mutilating Snape. _She wouldn't say yes…to that bloody git…would she?_ He pondered this for a minute. Then he heard Lily's voice again. James clutched his hands, which were starting to get clammy. _Oh Merlin, please don't say yes, Evans…_

"_I would love to Sev…"_

James let out a shuddering breath. _What. The. Bloody. Hell. _He leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. _How could she? And Snivellus too. Of all people…she just had to say yes to the one person he hated the most._ An annoying little voice piped up and said that maybe Lily preferred Snape over him. _Remember that time in Potions when you saw them hugging? _James scowled. Damn his little voice. Distantly, he could hear Snape's reply.

"_That's wonderful!"_

What the hell. He was not going to stand here and listen to this rubbish. If Evans wanted to go out with that slimey git, that was fine by him. He supposed he would just have to ask someone else.

James left in such a hurry that he didn't catch Lily's last few words.

"_but I can't…I'm…um…busy that afternoon…big Charms exam on Monday"_

-------LxJ-------

"Lily? Is that you?" a loud but yet dreamy voice floated across the practically empty Charms classroom.

Lily looked up from her notes. When she saw who it was she gave a wan smile. "Hullo Kay. And of course it's me. You've been sitting next to me all year," she replied a bit wearily. Kay was a good friends; she really was. But something about the girl…was a little off…not to be rude or anything, but it was undeniable. As she thought of this, she glanced at Kay's peculiar earring. "Nice earrings…I'm sure radishes are all the rage in Paris," she commented and then smiled to show Kay that she was only kidding.

Kay touched her earrings carefully. "Oh yes, I see you've noticed them. They are quite nice aren't they? My mother gave them to me. Apparently it's a family heirloom," she said, not at all bothered by Lily's comment.

"Family heirloom. Imagine that," Lily said kindly.

They sat in silence for a while- Lily frowning over her notes and Kay….welll being Kay…

"Do you know something interesting actually happened to me today?" Kay said, after she snapped out of her reverie.

"Really now?" Lily said, absent mindly, her mind on other matters.

"Yes. It was quite odd…" Kay replied serenely, a slight frown on her pale face. "James Potter…do you know him?'

"I wish didn't," Lily answered automatically.

"Huh. Well, he asked me to go to Hogsmeade with him. I was ever so surprised. I didn't think he even knew my name…" Kay said and then shrugged. "The stars must be out of balance… or perhaps a Wackspurt got him…" Saying this, Kay immediately began wacking at…the air…

Lily stared at her in shock. Not because of the Wackspurts…she had been around Kay much too long to let that surprise her. But because of what she said about Potter.

"He asked you?" she replied uncertainly.

"Oh yes," Kay didn't even stop her random wacking. "He's so nice isn't he?"

"Nice my arse," Lily scowled, as she slumped down in her seat. Potter was supposed to ask her! Not some random slut- Wait…Kay's not like that… But the main point is he was hers! Not Kay's! Lily gasped silently as she realized what she had just thought. Did she…really have feelings for Potter other than hate?

-------LxJ-------

"Kay?! Kay?! What the bloody hell were you thinking Prongs!" Sirius exclaimed loudly as he punched James in the arm. "Out of all the girls you could have picked…you pick the weirdest of the bunch? Do you know what she did to me the other day?" Sirius glared at James for a second and then went on. "She grabbed me and sprayed this disgusting goo on me because she swore the Blibbering Lumjiners were attacking me?! And you're telling me you actually asked her out?"

James said nothing. He just shot Sirius a dark look. He glanced around the crowded Common Room and caught Lily's eyes. She looked at him…no emotion in her eyes…and then looked away. James sighed deeply and ran a hand through his hair. Nothing good will come out of this weekend, he thought gloomily.

How wrong he would be.

-------LxJ-------

**A/N: sorry for the long update! But I hope you liked it :) and don't forget to leave a review! I really appreciate all of you guy's feedback so keep them coming!**

**XOXO**

**Cynthia**


	6. A Whirlwind of Pink and Fluffy Penguins

Ch

**Ch. 6**

**A Whirlwind of Pink and Fluffy Penguins**

_I try to play cool, acting like what you do don't faze me_

_Meanwhile I'm sitting at home, trying to keep myself from going crazy_

_I thought it would be easy but it's hard for me to let you go_

**Fabolous ft. Tpaine: Baby Don't Go**

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Lily Evans was having a wonderful dream. What it exactly was, she could not quite say but it was wonderful to say the least. Imagine her surprise when her dream was rudely awakened by the impact of something big and fluffy making contact with her body. Lily opened one eye wearily, mildly annoyed as another pillow bounced off her head. She sat up straight, her blankets strewn around her in a messy pile and glared at Alice.

"Was that really necessary?" she grumbled, rubbing her eyes to rid herself of her lingering sleepiness.

Alice merely smiled serenely and chirped, "Rise and shine sleepyhead!"

"Guess what day today is?" she continued, ignoring Lily's lack of enthusiasm. "Hogsmeade weekend!" Alice said, without waiting for a response. "Therefore, my dear, you must drag your arse out of bed and get ready!"

Lily gave Alice a blank look. How the name of Merlin was her friend so…awake all the time was beyond her. Alice was most definitely a morning person. And Lily, on the other hand, was not and-well, let's just leave it at that.

"What is there to get ready for?" she said at last, her voice full of fatigue. "I'm not going,"

Her words stopped Alice, who was drawing the curtains open, in her tracks. Her hands fell limply from the fabric and the curtains drifted apart from each other, allowing the feeble rays of the morning sun to shine weakly through. Alice's expression was one of disbelief when she spun around to face Lily.

"What do you mean you're not going?" she demanded, akimbo.

"I meant exactly what I meant," Lily replied vaguely as she arose from her bed. She yawned and lazily stretched her arm over her back and ran a hand through her tangled hair. "I need a hairbrush," she noted absent mindly, her deep green eyes scanning the dormitory for one.

"Never mind about your hair, it's fine," Alice snapped. "Don't try to avoid the question now. What do you mean you mean exactly what you mean?"

Lily blinked, unable to comprehend Alice's words. There were much too many "mean"s in there…

"I. Am. Not. Going." She said in a final manner. "Now if you will excuse me, I have to go brush my hair." Saying this, Lily wandered away from her bedside and almost floated across the room to the bathroom with Alice at her heels.

"Honestly, Als. Would you stop?" Lily asked exasperatedly, almost colliding with her friend when she turned around. She picked up a hairbrush and began moving it rhythmically through her hair. "I hope Briennah doesn't mind me using her brush," she remarked between strokes.

"Bree!" Alice said suddenly, as her eyes moved back to the dormitory. "Where is she? Maybe she can talk some sense into you."

Lily rolled her eyes and laid down Bree's brush. "Will you please stop with this whole thing?" she said, almost pleadingly.

Alice, however, did not hear a word she said. She exited the bathroom, leaving Lily to stare at her own reflection. She only had a few minutes of blessed silence when Alice returned, dragging a girl in tow.

"There!" she said triumphantly. "Bree already left for breakfast but I found Marica!"

Lily looked Marica over warily. The poor girl was only half wake. Lily briefly wondered if to Marica, this was all some odd dream or something.

"Mars, tell Lily she ought to go to Hogsmeade today," Alice ordered.

Maricarmen Paz stifled a yawn behind her hand. "Go to Hogsmeade Evans," she said in an emotionless voice, She turned to Alice, who was beaming encouragingly. "Can I go back to sleep now?"

Alice waved her off, believing that Marica's work was done. "Does that convince you now?" she asked hopefully but was disappointed when Lily gave her a blank look.

"All right, fine," Alice said, relenting. "But can you at least tell me _why?"_

"Why I'm not going?" Lily asked and Alice nodded vigorously. "Why would I? Hogsmeade is no fun without a date…"

"You almost _had_ a date, Lily."

"Potter does not count."

"Don't be mad at him now," Alice said soothingly. "It is not his fault you always reject him."

"Excuse me?" Lily replied, her voice losing its dreamy tone as her eyes became icy. "If I remember correctly, he did not even ask me. He asked Kay. And I'm fine with it. Really." She did not sound fine at all to Alice but Alice was wise enough to let it go.

"Okay Lily," she answered in a weary voice, indicating she was giving up. "Do whatever you want. I'm off to breakfast." Alice paused with her hand on the doorknob and glanced back at Lily. "Are you going to be fine?"

Lily nodded, her eyes downcast. Alice sighed one more time and left the room. Lily slowly turned back to her bed and was about to plop down on it when she heard a voice.

"You really should go Evans," Marica mumbled groggily, still half asleep. "Go and show Potter you can have fun without him."

"Thanks Marica, I'll keep that in mind," she smiled and curled back under the blankets. Lily wanted to go to Hogsmeade. Really she did. She was running out of candy anyways and a visit to Honeydukes always lifted her spirits. But she did not wish to run into Kay and James. Thinking about them made her feel more uncomfortable than she already was and Lily snuggled even deeper under her covers, trying to keep her disturbing thoughts away.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

What in the name of Merlin was she doing here? Lily's eyes darted nervously around her, wondering if anyone would recognize her. Her eyes focused on the little wooden sign in front of her.

**Welcome to**

**The Three Broomsticks**

Lily cringed at her behavior. She was almost acting like she was doing something wrong. Well, she wasn't. She had every right to be here. What exactly was she doing here, she did not quite know. With trembling hands, she slowly pushed open the door and stepped inside.

A wave of warm air hit her and the smell of freshly baked cookies swarmed around the air. The atmosphere was cozy and cheery. Lily felt even more out of place than ever as she stared gloomily at the pairs of happy couples sitting around the tables, holding hands. She had half a mind to hex them all.

Her eyes flickered to a table some feet away and try as she may, Lily could not look away. It was them. Kay and James. Kay was chatting animatedly while James hung on to her every word, gazing at her with an unreadable expression in her eyes. After watching them for awhile, Lily felt as if she was going to throw up and turned away to leave.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Sirius was at the table as well, but of course Lily could not see that. He drummed his fingers restlessly on the tabletop, sipping his butterbeer. Every now and then, he shot a dirty look James, who ignored it. Kay, on the other hand, noticed nothing and was happily chatting away, unaware that she was losing her audience.

"…then Xenophile told me that there _were_ Bumbling Pixies in Europe!" Kay said excitedly. "I was so pleased when I found out. I am going to try to convince Daddy to let me look for them over summer break. James, you will come with me won't you?"

James was startled at being addressed to. "Uh, what?" he replied rather stupidly. His eyes still had that glazed over look. Sirius stifled a chuckle but his mirth was unmistakable.

"Aren't we spending the summer together?" Kay asked, oblivious to everything around her.

"Kay…school just started…I don't plan that far ahead…" James said slowly with the air of talking to a six-year-old.

"Oh." Kay replied, her expression still serene but wavered a little. "Aren't we dating?"

Sirius, who was still sipping his drink, choked and sprayed saliva and butterbeer over the surface of the table. Kay turned to him, mildly disgusted but made no comment.

"Uh…well…I…" James began but came up with nothing. He shot Sirius anxious look but his supposed best mate was doubled over in amusement. "You see Kay…" his voice faltered as he looked around for a distraction. Anything. His eyes landed on a familiar redhead near the entrance of the pub. "Evans!" he called out in relief.

Lily's head whirled back to look at him, an odd expression in her eyes. James was unable to tell what she was thinking but her intentions became clear when she turned back and quickly exited through the door.

"I have to go," James told Kay and Sirius before following Lily out the door.

Sirius gave Kay a weary look and Kay met his gaze calmly.

"So, have you heard any news about the Blibbering Bumdingers?" Kay asked conversationally.

Sirius groaned and began banging his head rhythmically on the desk. _Bam. Bam. Bam._

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

_Evans!_

Lily heard the call, she was not deaf but she continued to act like she did not hear a thing. Her feet moved quickly along the stone pavements of the village, never once looking back. Her breathing grew shallow and rapid as panic overcame her. She must not let Potter catch up. He would want to talk. He would want to ask her what she was doing here and then ramble off about her amazing date with Kay. How could she let this happen? She was not ready for a conversation. Not yet, anyways. Actually, never was looking pretty good right now as well.

_Wait up!_

Again, Lily feigned ignorance as her eyes searched frantically for a store, any store, that she could hide in. To her relief, a wooden door magically appeared in her line of vision. Not even caring what it sold, she ducked her head and slipped through the revolving door. She leaned against the wall, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Damn it Evans, why didn't you wait for me?"

Her relief flew right out of the window. Lily reluctantly opened her eyes and found-who would have guessed-James Potter staring right back at her, a hint of anger in his hazel eyes.

"Oh. Were you the one calling me? I didn't hear you…" she replied brightly, trying to play it off.

"What the hell are you talking about? The whole bloody village heard me?!" James demanded indignantly.

"I was in a hurry," Lily defended herself quickly.

"To go where?" he shot back at her, refusing to let the matter drop.

"Why here of course!" Lily said triumphantly, waving a casual arm around at her surroundings.

Jame's eyes narrowed and he gestured around as well. "Here?" he remarked dubiously. "Evans, are you mental?"

Lily gave him a confused look and then actually looked around her. Oh, she thought with sudden understanding.

She had never been here before, and with a quick glance, Lily knew instantly why. You see, it was a store. One of those stores that sold one thing and one thing only. Odd, but there were a bunch of these stores floating around. Lily never imagined that she would enter one.

All around her were pink, fluffy stuffed penguins.

And that was all that was around her.

Lily felt like she was trapped in some horrible nightmare. She was suffocating from all the pinkness floating around.

"Oh dear Merlin," she said softly, hoping James didn't notice.

But of course he did. He stood there, arms crossed and a smirk on his face.

"Funny Evans, I never knew you liked pink and fluffy penguins."

"Oh put a sock in it," she snapped and stalked off, eager to escape from the whirlwind of…well you-know-what. As soon as Lily was outside of the shop, she quickly glanced over her shoulder to make sure that James was not following her but of course he was.

She huffed loudly and gave him withering look though he only smiled in that amused way of him.

"Damn it, Potter. Why are you following me?" she asked finally, as she turned around to face him, her arms crossed defiantly over her chest.

He stuck in a hand in his hair, subconsciously and answered, "I wanted to know why you were ignoring me. There I was, innocently in a pub with a couple of friends, and you come in, gives me a Look and then runs away! What the hell am I supposed to think?" he retorted, a faint redness on his face.

Lily blinked and said slowly but dangerously, "You want to know why I'm ignoring you? _You want to know why I'm ignoring you?_"

"That would be helpful, yes" James replied with a smirk.

She closed her mouth as her face turned red, an ominous sign that nothing good was going to happen.

"Oh come on now. We haven't got all day," he reminded her, his grin growing wider.

"Let me tell you something, Potter," Lily said fiercely, gritting her teeth. "Why, do you ask, did I not join your little party earlier at the Three Broomsticks. Try to get this through your thick head. You were on a _date_. With Kay, none the less. No sane girl would ever wanted to intrude on an infamous James Potter date. You got it now?"

James, who looked confused when she began talking, brightened and gave Lily a big smile. She stared back at him, dumbfounded.

"What?" she snarled.

"You like me…" he replied in a singsong voice. "you _like_ me. Admit it, you were jealous of Kay, weren't you? You wish it was you could be Kay, just to be near me."

"Wha-? I-..never!" Lily sputtered while he watched her, amused. "Don't you dare say that again!"

James opened his mouth wide and bellowed, "Lily Evans is in _looove_ with James Potter! Lily-_oof_!"

Lily, who was getting quite red, had ran head first into James and knocked him right over.

"You know, if you wanted me that bad, all you had to do was ask," he said cockily, seeing how Lily was now on top of him.

Lily straightened up and leaped off of him. "Don't you ever talk to me again," she warned him, still blushing. With a final disgusted look at the figure on the ground, Lily walked away, leaving James chuckling behind her.

"I'm getting to you Evans," he whispered softly, smiling in a dreamy sort of way. "One of these days, I'll break though. You'll see…"

**A/N: Sorry for the long update! Life is getting quite hectic. A review would be nice... :******

**3 C**


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